Debut Review: I am Not a Serial Killer

Listen to this review! Read by Reagan Larsen.

By Reagan Larsen – April 2024
I am Not a Serial Killer by Dan Wells. Supernatural Horror. Published 2009 by Tor (US) and Headline (UK).

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I am Not a Serial Killer by Dan Wells is an excellent exploration of a teenage sociopath and how his obsession with serial killers affects himself mentally and his relationships with family and friends.

This portion of the review will be SPOILER-FREE and is intended for general audiences. Scroll down to find my review with spoilers and other thoughts I may have. And I will note that this is the very first book review I’ve done for this site! Hopefully, I can express how much I enjoyed this book.

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Dan Wells immediately introduces us to our protagonist John Wayne Cleaver in a First-Person narrative, as well as the emotional conflict that rages inside of him. Being a sociopath, emotion doesn’t translate to him very well, so it is fascinating to see the world through his eyes. But don’t worry, Wells does a remarkable job of bringing emotion into the story, and I immediately sympathized with John. This sociopathy presents a challenge for John as much of the book is about his relationships with his therapist, a couple kids at school, and his mother, each of whom offers unique challenges and perspectives for the plot. Wells describes other characters’ actions and dialogue such that we know exactly what these other people are feeling, even if John cannot empathize with them.

“John is the type of hero you want to root for.”

The plot of the story involves John using his obsession with and knowledge of how serial killers work to hunt down a real serial killer in town. But this is where the internal plot kicks in, because John has specifically designed rules to PREVENT himself from doing things like this. John is the type of hero you want to root for, but there were times I became so invested in his character I did not know what to think about his actions. That is EXACTLY the brilliance of this story and proves that Wells is a formidable author.

I will touch on my thoughts of this being a supernatural horror. The supernatural elements were VERY slight. They are obvious, but personally, I felt it served as a device to keep us on our toes and keep the mystery element of the story fresh and interesting. There is blood and gore (so readers sensitive to the visceral, take note), but it is not so much the “in-your-face” horrific. In fact, instead of afraid, most of the time I felt more sorrow for the characters when something bad happens to them rather than fear. However, there are heart-thumping moments of peril that kept me turning page after page until I finished the entire thing!

I mentioned a mystery element, and that ties in with the pacing. The only real [slight] problem I had with the book was how suddenly the climax came. There’s something John is trying to find/discover throughout the text, and we learn something new in every chapter, it’s just that I couldn’t tell what John was going to do with the information he got. The end goal is clearly stated, but I felt that a plan for how to reach that end goal was missing. Then suddenly oh my goodness the climax is happening buckle up everybody it’s actually here! It all makes sense what happens and why, so it is not a foreshadowing issue by any means. I just did not get a sense of buildup or anticipation of the climax. The climax still paid off every promise Wells made, I think, so there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s just that I didn’t know when it was going to happen outside of seeing how few pages I had left.

“The climax … paid off every promise Wells made.”

Overall, I liked this one. John Wayne Cleaver is an interesting protagonist placed in a difficult situation and I could not help but admire him all along the way. The story was fascinating and made me reflect on how I connect with the people I love. You know a story is good when it makes you think about it long after you finish it.

SPOILERS BELOW

This is where I will write some of my other thoughts that directly relate to what happens in the story, including major spoilers. READER BE WARNED!

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I LOVED John’s relationship with his mother. The entire time he complains about her and how she’s unable to care for him, even though all the things she does are nice or she is trying to help him. You can tell that deep down behind all those barriers in his mind, he still loves her back. There is a scene towards the 3/4 mark in which John pulls a knife on her, and that was DEEPLY unsettling. It was at that moment I realized (partially because this is when John realizes the same thing) just what John is capable of. With how the story was going, I genuinely did not know what was going to happen in that scene. And then it all came together when the demon targets his mother (and I thought my heart was racing even before that happened) and they BOTH go out of their way to protect the other. It was an unexpectedly wholesome ending that I did not know I needed.

“It was at that moment I realized … just what John is capable of.”

That is the only thought I have that involves spoilers. So I hope this review was helpful. If you are thinking about reading the book, I highly recommend it! It’s a fun, fairly quick read that took me on an emotional rollercoaster (one of the scary ones). So props to you, Dan Wells, and thanks for the read!